Susan Allen Toth's "Boyfriends"

Susan Allen Toth opens her essay “Boyfriends” on an almost desperate note, wondering if she had “magicked” her first boyfriend Peter Stone “into existence out of sheer need” (p. 130). The essay continues on to describe her and Peter’s slowly burgeoning relationship, facilitated by her conscious and calculated efforts (“I had read enough in my Seventeen about how to attract boys to know I needed to show enthusiasm about Peter’s hobbies” p. 131). Nevertheless, amid all of the awkwardness and blatant premeditation, there is something distinctly familiar and endearing in all of the scenes that she describes. She never tries to over-romanticize her interactions with Peter or apologize for any of the awkwardness between the two of them; instead, she takes it all at face value and the effect is comical, light and honest. This is especially true when she describes how, during her almost-second kiss with Peter, she panicked and licked his face instead. This part stuck out for me, not only because it provided a funny visual, but also because she wrote it so matter-of-factly and without an air of embarrassment; when we are typically bombarded by glamorized versions of first love on TV and in movies, reading Toth was really refreshing, because she touched on how un-fabulous your first relationship can, and maybe should, be.

I especially enjoyed Toth’s interjection on page 134: “Amazing as it seems now, when courting has speeded up to a freeway pace, when I wonder if a man who doesn’t try to get me to bed immediately might possibly be gay, Peter and I gave each other hours of affection without ever crossing the invisible line.” I liked how she felt comfortable interrupting her narrative in order to use her future insights to help recall and complicate a past memory. I would definitely like to play around with this technique when writing for this class.